sector 1: "too many idiots!" (aka the stupidest things I've ever heard in my life that were funny)
"You can't date Japanese guys; they're all perverts. I mean, look at the cartoons they watch!" -a very stupid individual who unfortuantely shares my first name. (hint: she's the bimbo mentioned below)

"you need to sound like a quiche not a cliche" --an odd acquiantence

sector 2: "...." (aka -- I couldn't think of a clever title--my brother and I have the weirdest conversations sometimes)

"Do cheerleaders leave a football game early?"
"only if theyre drunk"

"I need to get this off my face"
"What your skin?"
"Yeah"

My Little(er...younger) Brother(MLB): [assembling SNES superscope] It's a precision weapon!
Me: [pointing at viewfinder scope thingy] umm...you put that on backwards.
MLB: shaddup

sector 3: "that's what friends are for" (aka if you think I'm strange, you should see the people I hang out with!)

"i'm the linux penguin!"
"i'm a turnip!"
--a friend of mine

"What should I name the penguin?" -- me
"Name it Ted. It's kinda dumpy and he's kinda dopey. It's pretty much the same thing." --another friend of mine

"She's a bimbo!" --me
"Do you realize you've just put her in the same catagory as Minmei?" --yet another friend
"Of course I do, and I'm glad!" --me

Anime Quotes:
This section contains quotes from and pertaining to anime (japanese animation) that I've heard or found and consider funny, entertaining, or otherwise worthwhile.  If the quote belongs to an actual person online I've tried to give credit when I have the source.  If I don't and the quote was yours (I don't mean you quoted it from an anime, 'cause then it's not yours it's the anime's) and you can verify this in some way email me and I'll credit you.
 
 

"Raw garbage? Why raw garbage? WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET RAW GARBAGE FROM?!" -Xelloss, Slayers Try, ep. ??

"Sore wa himitsu desu" -Xelloss, the Trickster Priest, Slayers Next, Slayers Try

"..otherwise, we'll kill everyone and their favorite pets, mess up their rooms, bust their
  favorite toys, and if they won any trophies we'll take those, too, and bury them in the backyard!!" -- Katsuhiko Jinnai, "Wanderers" episode #19

Literary/Celebrity Quotes:

[large section of F. Scott Fitzgeral Quotes goes here]

"There is no love more sincere than the love of food."
~ George Bernard Shaw